BREAKING NEWS - INAUGURAL FASTEST COMPLETION WORLD RECORD FOR "Ninja Gaiden 2" (NES)
As reported August 14th, 2004

Though this record was achieved back in July, it's taken me to now to find some spare time from training to be able to write this one up. Now you've all heard of my frantic schedule with work and all, but what I haven't revealed to this time, is that I'm tired of just seeing these Ninjas and living... I've decided to BECOME ONE! And let me tell you, it's been FAR from easy. See that kid over there? No! Not Goku... yeah him... Niki! I know... weird spelling and all... especially for a boy... more so because he's a huge 80's fan. Best way to describe him is with oldschool lingo, and that'd be that he's one radical ninja. He also packs one heck of a wallop too! I mean you'd NEVER see it coming from a kid his size! He's also a bit peeved because I managed to surpass him in training though, so I have to watch my back cons... [ducks as an arrow flings into the nearby post] ...tantly.

Needless to say, this training is by far, not even REMOTELY easy! But the Ninja's at this school! It's a cornocopia of namedropping, without a word of a lie! Sub-Zero and Scorpion teach the trial by fire and ic.... yes... they both teach... NO! Ugh... k.. they HAD to fight in Mortal Kombat.. that whole legend thing and hatred? All a masquerade for them to be able to take over Midway! Remember the little dude from Shinobi? Sega made him look smaller then he actually is.. Tengen tried to fix that problem, but due to budget constraints, they couldn't quite do it. The guy's really 6'8!!! Believe me, you DON'T want to mess with this Sensei! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? They're our cooking staff! They make some really
wicked chow while Sensei Splinter gets us to do calisthenics for 3 hours every morning. [And if you ask me, I swear the REAL reason he's able to do it without a problem is because he's a rat] Strider Hiryu was here for a while until the little incident with the 7 Iron, High Heels, copy of War and Peace and turntables. [Don't ask... it's a VERY long story]. I also managed to see Daniel Morin in one of the adjoining Dojo's playing Ninja Gaiden while Ryu Hayabusa instructed him onwards!

But what's been the big surprise is the new comer that shares a room with Daniel, and that is his friend Dominic Laroche. Soon after coming here, he's been advancing through the ranks left and right and has now being upgraded to the next level. How did he do this? Well, hard work, dedication, a lot of butt kicking and by setting the Inaugural World Record for Fastest Completion for Ninja Gaiden 2 - Dark Sword Of Chaos with an INCREDIBLE time of 13m26s! And believe me, we're all VERY glad that Jaquio is toast! Dominic showed off tremendous skills and knowledge as he laid down the sword Ninja style and made us all proud, but please don't take my word for it. Why not see it all as we take a trip down that familiar road...

The Road To Glory

00:47 - Just incredible! Dando the Cursed shows that his nickname is quite accurate, as to be laid out that fast... no way that isn't cursed!
02:30 - Ever notice how Baron Spider looks RATHER LIKE "Great Tiger" from Punch-Out!! Then again, I could be imagining this, but him being laid out by the power of 3 Ninja's fury? Definitely positive that this happened. :)
04:26 - Funky Dynamite? More like FLUNKY Dynamite, as Dominic shows. Always nice to have some help from the shadows. :)
06:34 - Dominic lays VERY quick work to Naga Sotuva with sword slashes so fast that I blinked and I think I missed a good  50-80 slashes!
08:32 - ASHTAR! One of the big reasons Ryu has to go through this hullaballoo in the game. A few quick licks and avoiding the flames is all it takes to take this wuss down. :)
09:54 - Double your pain, double the... wait a second... ever get that Deja Vu feeling. Not sure if Dominic did, but he did fix that nasty double vision problem and lay down the beasts :)
12:50 - Here we go again! Jaquio starts things off fast and hard, wanting desperately to end Dominic's success, but alas  fails to do so. Of course though, he invokes the ancient "3 Strikes and You're Out" clause and changes forms.
13:01 - Jaquio does his best Contra impersonation, but Dominic doesn't need a gun to dispatch of him fast as ever!
13:26 - Going for the Third shot, Jaquio comes back as something quite ugly, even scary by the standards of the early 90's. Dominic bore down, gritted his teeth, and let Jaquio eat Dragon Sword but good! After a few seconds, which would seem like an eternity to anyone, Dominic landed the fatal blow down on Jaquio and thus completed Ninja Gaiden 2 under the Twin Galaxies settings.

Sadly, I gotta wrap this up really quick, as my candle is nearly burned out and my ink is running out here. Thankfully this will be transcribed into a text file and uploaded right away though. I wish there was technology allowed here, but then that's what makes the training that much worthwhile! Crap! I hear someone coming and I'm not supposed to be awake at this hour! With these final words, it is with great honour to congratulate you on behalf of Twin Galaxies and myself.

To all who compete, and who now are inspired to take up this challenge, I wish the best of luck.

Mr. Kelly R. Flewin
[Ninja VANISH!] [Poof!]

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