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11-25-2020 at 11:47 AM
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I remember when I first saw thee, I had to choose, a picture of three,
I chose my best, straight away. Call the owners, don't delay,
That bundle of joy, looked so soft, couldn't wait to hold you, high, aloft,
Decisions made, without good scruples, never noticing, dilated pupils...

Soon enough, my gift arrived, Now I think it's all contrived,
Maybe it's just my latest test? To be landed with this little, pest.
My newest member, obeys no laws. Her contract, really, has no clause,
Her cute and fluffy, little paws, conceal the sharp, blood thirsty claws.

I limit her daily growing, errors list. Distract her from being, a domestic terrorist,
Everything she does, comes with a twist, hourly I wave my, tightly closed fist,
Instructions given, she completely resists. All day long, I'm feeling dissed,
Trapped inside this feline tryst, another weekly visit, to my therapist.

I check for damage, every day, what will I find to cause dismay?
Got new toys, a ball of strings best? Nope, what I need? A bullet proof vest.
I'm woken up, this scratching noise, she plays with everything, but her toys,
Excited as hell, just as evil, when does destruction become upheaval?

I regain control, with this laser. I sometimes pretend, it's a taser,
Laughing out loud, hilariously tragic, no way she can ever work out this magic,
And that's not all, I turn more bitter, almost had to take to Twitter,
The stink of sifting through her sh!tter, and "HOW MUCH IS THIS KITTY LITTER !?"

My wounds, are now, wrapped in gauze, as she lays all cute, and gently snores,
My time is spent, doing cat chores, avoiding those young, yet pointy jaws,
Should I give in, or say I can? Pebble-dashed my wall, with Catsan,
Used to test my every fibre, the custodian of this domestic tiger.

But late at night, at the end of the plight, she emerges into peripheral sight,
Lays on my chest, which I think is the best, sleep is needed to renew our zest.
Again looking after this little "bleep", I flip a coin. Do I keep?
The stress of dealing, makes me weep, this investment is, so timely deep,

Will she provide, the peace I seek? Will she turn back into, little Bo Peep?
She still goes mental, when I sweep, this wolf is dressed, just like a sheep.
This pet sensation, isn't cheap, will tomorrow go, without a peep?
My eyes give in, as they both go weak, as she purr's us both, right off to sleep...
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  1. Lauren Tyler's Avatar

    Aw, so cute!

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  2. kernzyp's Avatar

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Tyler

    Aw, so cute!

    And covertly, sinister! :D
    Hope you're cool, my lovely.
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